blessed

I have been so blessed over this Christmas holiday (despite a brief bout with sickness on Christmas Eve). I hardly know where to begin.

Perhaps with the girls night out birthday present from my friend Cara (manicure, A French dinner, a live nativity, and trimming the tree--so fun!).

Perhaps with the delicious dinner on Christmas day, spent with dear church friends and their extended family.

Perhaps with the sweet and fascinating group international students who have been staying at our church for the last 2 weeks, who put on an amazing dinner and show last night--a veritable feast of Asian cuisine and musical/dramatic talent!

Perhaps with my delightful niece and nephew, who actually know who I am now!

Perhaps with the joy of singing carols of praise Christmas morning among my church family.

Perhaps with the generous and thoughtful gifts I received from family and friends.

Or perhaps I will simply treasure all of these things in my heart.

Glory to God in the highest, and on earth, peace.

just bee

I just finished reading one of the zillion books on my current "to read list"--The Secret Life of Bees by Sue Monk Kidd. All of the women in my life have been telling me for months that I should read this book, and after putting it down several days ago, all I can say is, WOW. The plot, in short, involves a teenage girl who runs away from an abusive father in the 1960s with an African American woman in search of information about her mother who died when she was 4. In South Carolina, Lily (the girl) and Rosaleen (the black woman) meet these 3 other black women sisters, one of whom is a beekeeper and sells honey. Most of the novel is about what happens while Lily lives with these women...

What makes this book so wonderful is its beautifully honest articulation of the yearning for a mother that Lily has, and how that longing is fulfilled in the most unexpected (and for that time period, countercultural) of places and ways. But in the end, it's more than a coming of age story; it's a tale about regret, forgiveness, violence, grace, desire, dreams, politics, religion, power, nature, pain, healing, fear, courage, and Love.

If for some reason you, like me, have been hiding under a rock and not had a chance to read this book, I recommend adding it to your bedside table as soon as possible.

home [ ] home

All I remember are the pine trees and rose bushes
The thrill of sledding down its street in winter
And sucking icicles broken off its roof
Sky blue outside and sunshine yellow in the kitchen

Then one day, uprooted and flying
Across rivers and mountains
to the suburbs of the Alamo City
and a two story building with a chocolate brown door
piles of newspaper where the bar should be
the yellow cabinet that needed rubber bands to close
and an ancient coffeetable breaking under the
weight of Reader’s Digests and Astrology Monthly
eight years of peanut butter and banana sandwiches,
homework on the floor, spurs games on AM 1200
and papers typed on a commodore 64

until an invitation comes from a red brick city on a hill
to live and learn and blossom
in the care of manicured greens and an 11:1 ratio,
a secret garden and magic stones
for inspiration

finally, culmination and starting over
four blocks west and two to the north
with scratched wood floors, window units and dear sisters
six months of memories to cherish

before a painful mid-winter move
to a cavernous white space with cold empty walls and
plates of isolation eaten up by activity and independence
for 525,600 minutes

and then packing and driving my life to
another second story space, a haven shared with
sea green dishes, Bono, eggrolls, and Ireland
(gifts of common life with Amy)
until another November, another search for abode
leads me to a yellow castle nestled on a downtown island
two years of bliss where plants reminiscent of youth
grace a forest green porch
mosaic tile on the bathroom wall
And a cream colored door won’t lock on its own
Keys thrown on a bureau that’s seen better days
Laying on a couch colored with all the emotions of life
Memories envelope my heart. -pjn 12/22/05

apple!

I should have known. Apple IS my favorite kind of pie (and not a bad scent for candles either!).

You Are Apple Pie

You're the perfect combo of comforting and traditional Those who like you crave security

What Kind of Pie Are You?

enough with the word wars

"The War on Christmas is a little like Santa Claus, in that it (a) comes to us from the sky, beamed down by the satellites of cable news, and (b) does not, in the boringly empirical sense, exist. What does exist is the idea of the War on Christmas, which, though forever new, is a venerable tradition, older even than strip malls and plastic mistletoe." -The New Yorker

"How silently, how silently the wondrous Gift is given
So God imparts to human hearts the blessings of His heaven
No ear may hear His coming,
But in this world of sin,
Where meek souls will receive Him still
The dear Christ enters in"

weekend whirlwind/weary world waits

Highlights: seeing the Vatican exhibit, watching Good Night and Good Luck (film about CBS, Edward Murrow and the McCarthy era), the mini-Trinity reunion at a friend’s birthday dinner, baking pumpkin bread, Voci di Sorelle’s (women’s ensemble) Christmas concert (which included several songs in Spanish, including a Nicaraguan carol!), wrapping presents for a needy family my Sunday School class adopted this year, listening to long-time missionary and humanitarian John Farmer talk about his work with Medair...

Lowlights: feeling irritated about the excessive wealth the historic church used for itself, burning my first pumpkin bread (my oven is so finicky!), searching for hours for gifts for family members (my parents are almost impossible to shop for), realizing there are 6 days until Christmas and I’ve only read about 1 week’s worth of Advent devotionals, and feeling wearied by the endless pain and suffering of the world (the latest being flooding in Thailand)...

Last night President Bush closed a national address with these words from a well-known carol:

“Then peeled the bells more loud and deep
God is not dead nor doth he sleep
The wrong shall fail, the right prevail
With peace on earth, good will to men”

Come, Lord Jesus.

civil disobedience for christ

If you watched NBC news last night you might have seen a brief mention of the 40+ people who were arrested in the Capitol for protesting a House budget bill cutting funding for programs that protect the poor. Below, the words of Jim Wallis, one of the leaders of this vigil, regarding their acts of civil disobedience:

There is a Christmas scandal this year, but it's not the controversy at shopping malls and retail stores about whether their displays say "Merry Christmas" or "Happy Holidays." The real Christmas scandal is the budget proposed by the House of Representatives that cuts food stamps, health care, child support, and educational assistance to low-income families - while further lowering taxes for the wealthiest Americans and increasing the deficit for all of our grandchildren.

That was the message we brought to the steps of the House office buildings yesterday. The day was cold but the message was clear, as hundreds of religious leaders and faith-based organizers who daily serve the poor joined for what became a revival and prayer meeting in the United States capital.

After some powerful preaching on the steps and a press conference that was more like a revival, we continued our praying and singing in front of the entrance, symbolizing the denial of access to Congress for low-income people. "Come walk with us!" we said as we invited members of Congress into our neighborhoods to meet the people who will be most impacted by their votes on a budget that virtually assaults low-income families. We sounded like a choir (and a good one at that) as we sang Christmas carols while being arrested, handcuffed, put into buses, and taken to a large holding cell roughly a mile away.

Many of those who took part in the prayerful and nonviolent civil disobedience were from groups such as the Christian Community Development Association, whose member organizations around the country live and work alongside poor people every day. Their founder, John Perkins - who at 75 was one of the oldest people arrested - inspired us all as he has for 40 years of faithful ministry among the poor. The text we kept repeating at the Capitol Christmas vigil was from the book of Luke - the best words ever about the true meaning of the coming of the Christ child.

"My soul magnifies the Lord, and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior, for he has looked with favor on the lowliness of his servant. Surely, from now on all generations will call me blessed; for the Mighty One has done great things for me, and holy is his name. His mercy is for those who fear him from generation to generation. He has shown strength with his arm; he has scattered the proud in the thoughts of their hearts. He has brought down the powerful from their thrones, and lifted up the lowly; he has filled the hungry with good things, and sent the rich away empty."

Though today on Capitol Hill Mary would be accused of class warfare for uttering such words, they still bear the true meaning of Christmas. So yesterday, on the House office steps, we tried to put Christ back into Christmas…[and] the story of the faith-inspired action in Washington was in dozens of newspapers around the country.

We prayed for a change of heart in our Washington leaders, we prayed for the poor families we serve, and we prayed that those elected to represent us act to protect the common good in ways consistent with the Christmas message of hope.

Amen, Amen and Amen.

EB for DA

My friend, fellow church member, skilled violin player, and local attorney Eddie Bravenec announced last night at a Southtown restaurant his intent to challenge incumbent Susan Reed in the upcoming race for Bexar County District Attorney.

It's not every day you get to attend the campaign announcement of a personal friend, so I was glad to be there to support him.

'tis the gift to be simple

There's posts all over the blogosphere about the commercialization of Christmas, so what's one more?

I just read a fabulous idea in the comments of a blog from this guy about helping children develop the spirit of giving at Christmastime. He said that his family gives a gift to each child and then they each give up one of their favorite used toys to donate to a needy family. Fabulous. If I had kids I would totally do that.

For a whole slew of ideas that require more time than money, check this out. One interesting (and sad) fact mentioned in this article:

Together, Canadians and Americans make up 5.2 per cent of the world’s population, but their portion of private consumption expenditures (the amount spent on goods and services per household level) is 31.5 per cent, or more than six times what constitutes a fair share, according to the Worldwatch Institute.

I feel guilty even though I've probably only spent 10% of what most people spend on Christmas. So I am baking gifts for several people this year instead of giving them trinkets they don't need or could buy for themselves. I don't know if I could ever go this far, but I hope that over time my faith and life will be marked more and more by radical commitment to the needs of others, not just at Christmas, but all year long.

temp, temper, tempest

so i drove to kinkos after work last night to pick up some things i ordered and discovered that they had done my order completely wrong and it would be thursday before i could have it redone. i was quite put out by this turn of events, but since i was already in alamo heights, i decided to go to the quarry and pick up a few small gifts for friends and family.

lesson #1: i should never go shopping when i am stewing about something. it made me incredibly indecisive as well as greedy. i couldn't walk out of the store without buying something for myself.

lesson #2: i should never talk to my sister when i am stewing about something. my sister and i have an annual tradition of doing one shopping trip together to pick out gifts for our parents, and when i called her to ask her about it she told me she needed to reschedule for a date closer to christmas. i was already on edge, so i practically yelled at her as i tried to explain how i hate shopping at the last minute. i'm sorry, sis.

lesson #3: i should never talk to people or do anything at night until i've had dinner. i got home around 8:30pm at which time i threw a frozen lasagna in the oven, wishing bitterly that i had put in the oven earlier so it would have been ready when i came home. so i ate a bowl of cereal while i was waiting, all the while annoyed with myself for planning so poorly and eating so late.

the one bright spot in my evening of misery-inducing mistakes was a lovely conversation with my mom, which is no small thing in my life. however, as a result, the sink is still full of dishes and no presents got wrapped. oh, well. there's always tomorrow...

when my temper flares
your grace is there
to calm the waters
and soothe my cares

serenity in the fire
is what i desire
to remember what is real
and avoid misplaced ire

refine me into pure gold
i'd rather your fire than the cold
for everything will crumble
except your love and truth of old
-pjn 12/13/05