the fruit of silence

"The fruit of silence is prayer
the fruit of prayer is faith
the fruit of faith is love
the fruit of love is service
the fruit of service is peace."
-Mother Teresa

Silence is hard to come by here. Or perhaps I should say that it is hard to choose silence. So many are the distractions...and the coping mechanisms that fill many moments of my day that could be better used in silent reflection.

But the fruit of silence is indeed something good and beautiful and true. Silence opens my heart to the Spirit of the Living God who lives within me, though its voice often goes unheard for my own willful deafness.

I am reflecting on this because this past Friday I was given the unique gift of 2 hours of almost uninterrupted silence for prayer as part of a staff spiritual retreat. Away from a desk, away from a computer, my cell phone turned off, leaning against a tree in south Managua, (mostly) removed from the noise of the city, I finally found a sacred space. A space where the words of Scripture penetrated once again. A space where talking to God seemed natural again. (I know it sounds weird to say that, but if you only knew how far I have felt from God in the last 4+ months...)

A space where my heart put new words and a new melody to an old song. Suddenly, an old spring was tapped, and in a quiet voice under a Managua palm tree, I sang to Jesus.

Break me, remake me
Make me more like you
I want to be a new creature
I want to be like you

Cleanse me, forgive me
Make me more like you
Free me, transform me
I want to be like you

I know I've wandered far
I know I've squandered much
But you know it's over now
And I'm running back to you

Break down all the walls
I've built between me and you
Break down all the barriers
that've kept me from you

For you are everything
everything I need
Yes, you are everything
everything to me.
-pjn

I still have a long way to go. But at last I feel like the journey is possible. Peace.