a sailor's tale

I write in metaphors to shroud some aspects of my life story in mystery, and perhaps bring other parts into clarity. I write not to judge but to grieve. It is a grievous loss to realize that one has never known someone so close to her.-pjn

Ponder for a moment the sailor lost at sea
Once anchored in a quiet harbor
He set out to catch a dream
Hoping to earn kudos from the ones who gave him life
Yet year after year the destination grows further out of reach
His internal patience bending under the weight of inner strife

North winds of want blow him out to sea
Aimlessly floating in never ending blue
Sunrise and sunset lose their meaning as the sky forgets its hue
A cyclone of confusion bearing down around him
Amid crashing waves of agony his cloudy eyes fill with dread
Abruptly he retreats below deck for safety
Helpless amid his books and menagerie
Denying the mounting cacophony
Invisible to all the world and his family

Waves tumble aboard the ship, drenching every surface in their wake
Yet the slumbering sailor never stirs, oblivious to what is at stake
His dreams are invaded by the biting breeze as he shuts his eyes to more
Than the fragile sails battered and torn lying on the deck outside his door
While his offspring weep in anguish at the loss of so much more
No strength to take the wheel and steer a course aright
No vision to be the lighthouse to guide a child at night
Idle lay his calloused hands, protecting nothing but himself
While his family succombs to tears and misery

What will become of the sailor lost at sea?
His future is uncertain, his heart trapped and alone
O wretched high seas! Please bring him home!