after 7 days...

Well, it's been a week. Still so much I have to learn about this city (never mind the country), this culture, the language. That is the overwhelming feeling I left yesterday with. I am a learner and that is just all there is to it. When Lorena (my Spanish tutor) and I were meeting yesterday and talking about the 3 perfect tenses, I became a little frustrated with myself because I didn't already know some of the things she asked me.

Yes, I admit it. I was frustrated. I think I was also tired because I almost started crying in the middle of my lesson. A totally disproportionate response to the realities of learning, I know. And on top of that, I know that the more I think I know, the more I will simultaneously realize how much more I don't know at all.

I was also frustrated today by the quest to find the supermercado La Union. I was down in the tourist area buying a map and some postcards and then it took me almost 45 minutes to go 4 blocks, because I found myself going in circles and unable to decipher the map I was given. It doesn't help that none of the streets here are really marked except for Avenida Central, the street that goes right through town to the central mercado and Cathedral. The same thing happened yesterday when I embarked on the seemingly simple task of finding the post office that Heather had told me was on the same street as a restaurant we had eaten at the night before. Of course I did not remember any of the landmarks on this street until I had gone about 10 blocks out of my way and backtracked in several different directions. And even then I could not find it on my own but had to ask several people how to get where I wanted to go. Some good things came out of my prolonged search for the post office, though. I wound up in the university district which was an area I had not seen yet, and I discovered a used bookstore where I bought a book of Nicaraguan folklore (in Spanish of course) which looks really good.

So I have a lot to learn. And to help with that, my other new friend Anne has been graciously lending me book after book. The latest ones are on the geography of the country and a memoir of the Sandinista revolution written by a well-respected local author. I also have several books on Spanish grammar, in which I desperately want to improve, but am finding to be a mentally draining and emotionally involved process. So, as I drifted off to sleep last night, I found myself yearning to see a light not only at the end (because there really is no end), but also in the midst of, this tunnel of learning. Lord, how I need Your light each and every night.