blurry december

December passes every year in a blur. I don't want it to be that way this year, but it seems my calendar and my choices are leading that direction and it's only Day 2 in this, my favorite of months! (Case in point: tonight I will be attending two different parties, and tomorrow a third.) Quiet, stillness, and reflection always seem to get the leftovers of my life rather than the firstfruits. Why is this?

Is it because I have too many friends and I overcommit my schedule to see them all? Is it because I crave activity to produce meaning and a sense of purpose in my life? Is it because I have succombed to the commercialistic culture that says that Christmas time is about shopping and gifts and parties? Is it because no one holds me accountable for how I spend my time?

As I ponder the whirlwind of engagements that await me in this month of merriment, I fear that lost in the endless laughter, small talk, toasts, gift-giving, decorations, desserts, carols, and entertainment will be a genuine encounter with my Creator-made-flesh, Emmanuel. During this season of Advent, I echo the prayer of the psalmist:

"Turn my heart toward your statutes and not toward selfish gain. Turn my eyes away from worthless things; preserve my life according to your word."