Some stream-of-conscienceness ranblings on my time in the States...
In Texas it didn't take long for me to note how incredibly big everything is--from streets (5 lanes on one side of the highway? are you kidding me?) to houses to cars to shopping malls. It took slightly longer to realize that unlike Managua, there are hardly any taxis on the streets, and barely a bus to be found. I found myself a little lonely when I drove around the city alone running errands--even the radio seemed like poor company when I had grown accustomed to a variety of personalities sharing my daily bus route, as well as a pleasant cacophony of voices, music, and traffic related sounds. I missed my daily walks, but greatly enjoyed my opportunites to drink Dr. Pepper. I found myself overwhelmed by suburbia. I missed my daily coffee with my roommate, but greatly enjoyed pancakes and breakfast tacos--both much better in TX than any version I have made here. My jaw dropped to the floor the first time I paid $8 for lunch (that would be 3 very large and delicious lunches in Nicaragua), but within just 2 weeks I found myself succombing to my largely dormant and/or minimal materialistic tendencies (and quietly justifying it--"well, I mean, I DO need new clothes that actually fit"). On Sunday I realized how much I missed the gentle but powerful liturgy when we closed our worship service with a version of the doxology and the kyrie.
And as I traveled across Managua via taxi for the first time in 2 weeks last night, I saw this city with new eyes--and sharp pangs of sadness descended into my spirit as I realized that living among the poor for so long had desensitized me to its everyday manifestations--brought clearly into focus again for me by the 11 year old girl washing windshields at 7pm on the north highway that takes me home....what does it say about me that it took a 2 week saturation in the middle class wealth of my north american world to reawaken my mind to the every day struggles that 90% of the people I know here are facing?
Lord have mercy, Christ have mercy, Lord have mercy.
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2 comments:
Well said. I emailed this to Rachael, who has just returned to the US.
And reflected on it myself, as I've been in the US the whole time.
It says you're human.
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