"if I could just get to the States"

I can't tell you how many times I have heard that phrase or some version of it from taxi drivers and other random people I have met around Nicaragua. There is a widespread sense that life is never going to be any better here, that economic opportunity is completely out of reach for the majority of the population, and that the only real hope lies in securing a visa or other means of leaving the country.

Every morning on my bus ride to work I pass the U.S. Embassy, where already at 7:30am there is a line of people waiting to be seen, hoping to be granted a chance at the "American dream". Then there are the thousands of others who chose the southern route, taking seasonal or domestic work in Costa Rica. The CR visa is a little easier to come by, but Nicas are scarcely welcome--relegated to the most undesirable jobs and paid pitiful wages while living in conditions that are sometimes worse than where they lived here.

I'm thinking about all of this today, because a new survey just came out in the press today that says that 70% of the population wants to leave the country!! 70%!!!! Think about that--can you even imagine if 70% of the USA's citizens were that unhappy that they wanted to leave their country? (Just last May the percentage of Nicas who wanted to leave was 45%). The majority of people surveyed said they wanted to leave to find a job or to improve their economic situation.

What that tells you is that the economy here is truly getting worse--work is harder to come by than ever, and prices show no signs of falling--and people are feeling increasingly helpless. (It would be a lot worse too if it weren't for the average annual remittances of USD$1000 to 1/5 of the families here.)

I feel helpless too--but of course for different reasons--being here all of this time and seeing so many things not only not change but actually get worse--it's beyond depressing. It's heartbreaking. The macro level changes needed for this country's socio-economic conditions to improve are so immense and complicated I can't even begin to imagine.

I think that's why somewhere along the way I decided that whatever career I chose, I would have to work at the local level--otherwise I would be completely overwhelmed all the time.

Today is a day where I feel overwhelmed.