Wednesday, September 17, 2008

a song and a prayer


Back in 2000, when I studied "abroad" in Washington DC, I listened incessantly to the music of Jennifer Knapp. In sadness, loneliness, and despair, her lyrics spoke to the condition of my soul and gave me words to pray when I had none of my own.

Listening anew to "Martyrs and Thieves" this week, I am struck by way these same lyrics describe the myriad of thoughts and emotions that I have felt lately.

There are ghosts from my past who've owned more of my soul
Than I thought I had given away
They linger in closets and under my bed
And in pictures less proudly displayed
A great fool in my life I have been
Have squandered till pallid and thin
Hung my head in shame and refused to take blame
For the darkness I know I've let win

So turn on the light and reveal all the glory
I am not afraid
To bare all my weakness knowing in meekness
I have a kingdom to gain
Where there is peace and love in the light, in the light
Oh I am not afraid
To let Your light shine bright in my life, in my life


I wrote to someone tonight, someone who knows the depth of my darkness...to tell them that in the last week I have suddenly seen the sky clearing, the delicate light of "la madrugada" entering the most desolate spaces in my heart...and I dare to believe that there may yet be a new dawn.

O Lord, let me live in the light, as You are light. May my weakness be all the more reason to rely on your grace rather than my own strength. Grant me the gift of peace in the midst of turmoil, and a sense of Your abiding love in the midst of profound solitude.

Amen.

2 comments:

Dawn said...

Amen and amen!! Hallelujah!

And I too, have long loved that song. It was pretty meaningful for me in '98, right around my college graduation.

Javier said...

mantente caminando...